In his chapter on “Training in Zen” Shibayama writes:
…they first start with an extremely intense religious quest; then comes hard, strong-willed search and discipline, which will be followed by spiritual crises, or a sense of the abyss; and finally, they experience the moment of awakening. These are the inner processes they generally go through (page 39).
I know if you are reading this that you too have gone through some or all of these steps. I too have done so and when I’ve had that moment of awakening I think that my life will have changed dramatically and only the good can come and I will be able to “walk on water.” Alas, when I tried I was soon over my head in it and had to swim to shore. This is not failure but the reality of being in a human experience.
To fail and then to get up again and go back to the reading and meditation and mindfulness strengthens my determination and quickens my compassion for others who are struggling and swimming against the tide in this physical world of challenges and joys.
Life is like a roller coaster and sometimes we are on the up-hill ride slowly moving and creeping to the top of the tracks and then all of sudden we feel the elation and before we know it we’re on the down hill portion of the roller coaster speeding faster and faster as the wind blows our hair and we can hear ourselves screaming.
Not to worry what you learned through these two experiences will help you grow in to the Buddha that you are. Shakyamuni Buddha lived a life of luxury that many could never experience and he left it to find the truth about life. During those times he had great ups and downs in the physical, psychological, and emotional challenges of being alive. But in his final awakening he discovered the middle way. Not grasping upon awakening or experiencing Samadhi but simply allowing yourself to relax and focus on your breath and the peace that you can hold in body, mind, and spirit. He realized that everything is one.
To be in the moment, to realize that we are and can experience being one with all the good that is in the universe is available to everyone. It gives us the clarity, drive, and ability to go out into the world and make a difference, to fulfil our Buddhist promise to live a life of peace, love, and compassion toward self and others.
The beginning of the universe is now, for all things are at this moment being created, and the end of the universe is now, for all things are at this moment passing away. (Watts, 1958, p. 52) ~ Alan Watts, Zen teacher
Just a thought to ponder on while you wile away the minutes and hours of your day on your spiritual quest.
merely on the authority of your elders and teachers.”
rada Roshi in his beautiful book, Moon By The Window, wrote:
t is the source of everything.”
The Secret to a More Fulfilling Life!: Part 7 The Power of Contemplation
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You can, of course, change the pronoun from we to I if you are studying alone. There is a veritable encyclopedia of great works of Buddhism to read and digest and contemplate. The more we study and learn and embrace the words of the great teachers from Shakyamuni Buddha to our current writers and translators the more we will be able to embody the teachings until they become a part of who we are.
Then and only then can we begin to automatically, without thinking, act in a kind, loving, helpful, and nonjudgmental way. No longer will the questions of “What would the Buddha do” enter our minds. Our brain will automatically know and go to that action or find those kind and loving words so quickly you will wonder where they could have come from.
Being a Buddhist is not simply putting on a robe and expecting everyone will look up to you and think you are grand or special or knowledgeable. It is with or without a robe acting like a person with merit gained from your studies having penetrated into your words, deeds, thoughts, and actions. That lets people know you are a student of the Buddha. It is not easy to be a “real” Buddhist. In fact, it is very challenging in the beginning. Why? Because goodness must swell up from within you in all situations and with all people regardless of the circumstances of the moment.
I am not always the best Buddhist and I know when I have slipped away from my vows and have to begin anew. How do I know that? –through knowledge of the teachings, through my time spent on the cushion contemplating and studying the sutras and the teachings of Buddhism through the ancients to the modern authors–that’s how.
It’s quite like the world class chefs. They do not learn how to be a great chef by eating, they learn by studying with other great chefs, and cooking, and cooking some more. Creating recipes takes a lot more time, thought, and effort then eating! What recipe are you using? Jell-O Instant pudding or one made from scratch with great ingredients, time, effort, studying, concentration, and love of the teachings?
[1] Tanahashi, K. (2015) Zen Chants Thirty-Five Essential Texts with Commentary. Shambhala: Boston and London
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