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Posts Tagged ‘Alzheimer’s’

In some ways the end of time came for me on Wednesday, September 4, 2013, when my mother passed away.  My dad had passed away six years ago and I just knew time had stopped for me then, but oddly enough mother needed more time from me since she had Alzheimer’s and, unlike dad, needed someone’s full attention to survive.  Survive and thrive she did.  Although mother had her ups and downs she was resilient and was always able to bounce back.  Not so last Wednesday the bouncing stopped and she fell into a deep sleep that sent her into eternity with dad.

Although time stopped for her on planet earth as Dogen wrote, “This is the timeless moment to attain buddha ancestors’ infinite life.  All of you aspire and practice within this timelessness.  Endeavoring to follow the way, you must actualize one phrase.  When timelessness is realized, you are powerful.  When timelessness is realized, you are alive (page 94).”[1]

Mother has reached her aspiration of timelessness and come into her real power. My mother was a Methodist who loved Psalm 23 and counted on it in times of difficulty—this is for mom.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul;: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and they staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

“[After a pause Dogen said:] The buddha ancestors’ body and mind are timelessness.  Your true face is a great jewel forming in heaven.  How long have you awaited timelessness? This auspicious day knows the increasing light of opportunity (page 94).”[2]  She waited 92 years to enter into her timelessness. I can only wonder with awe at the opportunities my mother is taking in timelessness now. She has ended the great adventure here to find her true face as the wondrous jewel formed in heaven, the perfect reflection of her heavenly work done on earth.

You too are the perfect reflection of timelessness—show it and share it every day.

Shokai

Things to focus on this week:

1.  I will begin each day trusting that “my cup runneth over” with good.

2.  I will remind myself that time is fleeting and only love prevails.

3.  I will remember to keep my eyes and ears open for any and all opportunities to use my time wisely to be a gift and not a burden.

4.  Lastly, I will keep a journal of the opportunities that have been presented to me so I can keep track of my progress and my opportunities for growth.

 

mom WAC hat 2009Iona Louise Bishop, Women’s Army Air Corp WWII, 1920-2013


[1] Tanahashi, K. Levitt, P. (2013) The Essential Dogen, Writings of the Great Zen Master. Shambhala: Boston, MA

[2] Ibid.

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In spring colors there is no high nor low
Some flowering branches are by nature long, some short (Harada, page 5).

 When I read this in Shodo Harada’s beautiful book Moon by the Window (2011) it reminded me of the patience of spring waiting to appear after a long and difficult winter of snow and ice and cold.  It did not push itself in before its time, but waited patiently for the earth to get in just the right position when all the elements were perfect for new birth and growth.

When was the last time we waited with patience for anything?  Our society is so filled with hurry- up and rushes and to-do lists and must-do lists we find it difficult to take even a few moments each day to sit quietly and simply observe our breath.  Or to watch a flower bloom or to see a bird as it patiently follows the wind and the sun moving north and south with the seasons, instinctively knowing what the right time is.

Daily we are given the opportunity to show patience in our lives.  Some of us lose our patience while driving down the road when the car in front of us does not move fast enough, or is moving too fast and may cut us off to get ahead of us because he or she thinks we are driving to slowly.  How many times have you rushed through a meal only to get indigestion?  How many times have you finished a meal and you don’t even remember what you ate?

Are you someone who starts out each week wishing your life away?  How many times have you said, “Boy, I can’t wait until the weekend”?  Or how about, “Will this meeting ever get over I have so many things to do”?

For some of us it is a personality type, they used to call it Type “A” behavior.  But I call it Type “P” behavior!  We are missing the “Patience” gene!  The one that allows us to simply enjoy the moment in which we are living.  The sad thing is that this moment will never appear again and we may have missed a wonderful, beautiful, or mind awakening thing in the process.

During the time I have been writing this blog post my mother has entered the room several times impatiently needing my attention and so I stopped, thought about the topic and with “patience” helped her.  Living with a family member with special needs, be it Alzheimer’s or other mental or physical disability gives us plenty of time to practice patience.  It is not easy at times and I do lose my temper or get upset, but each day as I practice the 10 Paramitas it just gets a little easier and easier.  My “P” gene is showing up more and more!  How about yours?

Many years ago I had the privilege to work in Spain doing training for a multinational firm and I was shocked about the schedule with which we did our training. It was nothing like what we do in America.  In the U.S. we start between 8 and 9 a.m. and end between 4 and 5 p.m. with two short breaks and a lunch.  In Spain they started at 10, took a coffee break at 11 and went for a two hour lunch between 2 and 4 and ended at 6 p.m.  Wow!  What a difference.  They all think American’s are crazy with the number of hours we put in at work and how few vacation days we take each year.  The Spaniards know how to have patience, relax, and enjoy life!

This week let us practice being more like them and growing the “P” Gene!  Find some time each day to practice patience with yourself and with others.  Find some time to simply sit, simply watch the grass grow, or the snow fall, or play with your kids, your dogs or your cats.  Each time that monkey mind interrupts with your to-do list just let it go by and simply keep on sitting or playing or watching the grass grow or the snow fall.  Then ask yourself how you felt in mind, body, and spirit when you gave the “P” Gene a little chance to grow.

This is just like the plant you tried to grow in the paper cup in grade school.  If you pulled out the seed everyday it would not grow, once you saw it sprouting if you pulled out the small growth you would have killed it.  You probably can hear your teacher asking you to have patience and soon enough you’d see results.  And guess what —you did!

What results would you like to see in your life today?  With patience they just might appear!

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