This post is dedicated to those who lived and died. Especially, on this day, those who died in the name of politics, fear, and hatred of the other.
My dear friend and mentor Father John McNeill told me a story about being in the war and when he tried to give food to a starving so-called “enemy” he was chastised and punished heavily and tagged an enemy of the state. But it never deterred him from being the kind and loving man he was. Thus, for me he was the epitome of peace, love, and compassion on planet Earth. If only all people treated each other as Father John did there would be NO wars, hatred, or killing.
My fiancé Dennis Cama died in Viet Nam he too was a kind and loving man who was forced to kill and die for the politicians of the world. May they both be in peace on this Memorial Day 2019. My mom and dad both served in the Army Air Corp during WWII and dad earned the Silver Star as a belly gunner on a B17 bomber.
More thoughts on the passing of my mentor and friend: Father John J. McNeill
Wednesday September 22, 2015 Father John J. McNeill went to meet his friend and guide, Jesus. When I heard the news I thought it was just what Father John would have wanted—to make his transition the day that Pope Francis was in the country voicing his support for the LGBT community around the world. Good going John!
Father John was silenced, sanctioned, and finally asked to leave the Jesuit Order by the former Pope Ratzinger because of his support for the LGBT community and for living a life of truth and compassion as a gay man with a wonderful supportive and loving partner Charles Chiarelli.
Father John has written many books and counseled many people in and out of the LGBT community. He was my mentor and friend for many years as I worked as an associate pastor at Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale, FL and as a hospice chaplain. As one of the founders of an interfaith clergy group for those serving congregations in the Broward, Dade, and Palm Beach Counties I had the pleasure of picking Father John up for our meetings and events when he needed a ride.
To be with him and hear him talk was an amazing thing. It did not matter what topic he was speaking about or even if it was just a causal conversation about life–I was blessed simply by being in his presence. If you have not had the opportunity to read any of his books I recommend them highly. His knowledge of scripture and Christianity was amazing. Two of my favorite books by Father John are Both Feet Firmly Planted in Midair: My Spiritual Journey and Sex as God Intended.
In memory of Father John, Dennis, my Dad and Mom and all those who have died in war I would like to leave you all with this poem by Kuan Hsiu, Zen Buddhist monk and master poet who lived from 832-912.
This is for you my dear friends…
So, say my way differs from yours,
We both have old men’s hair and beards.
They say words can kill faith.
I like to arrange spring blossoms in a rough old
funeral jar.
In gassho, Shokai
The Secret to a More Fulfilling Life: Part 5 Atonement
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Atonement has been defined in many ways such as reparation for a wrong doing or making amends for your actions, words, and/or deeds. Or even read as “at one meant.” In, Buddhism we have a gatha or chant that we recite at the end of our sitting period. It is simple yet powerful.
All harmful karma ever committed by me since of old
On account of my beginingless greed, anger, and ignorance,
Born of my body, mouth, and thought,
Now I atone for it all…
Kaz Tanahashi in his book Zen Chants reminds us that “We are in the midst of changeable and unchangeable karma in each moment. We are bound by cause and effect, but at the same time we are partly free of cause and effect. This is the case during meditation, when we can be completely free from the chain of causation. At this time, we can be anybody and anywhere. We are what we meditate. We are also the source of cause and effect (page 146).[1]
Each time I recite this chant I feel like I’ve been given a new life, and a new opportunity to get something right! To have a “do over” as we might say today. I may not be able to have a “do over” with someone who has passed away or no longer will take my calls, texts, or emails, but atone I must—to forgive myself for my behavior or words or deeds that harmed or hurt another. Regardless of whether the person is someone you know or a total stranger if we have harmed then atonement is the best action to take. If we decide not to take that action it doesn’t mean that we’re done with it anyway!
I once worked with a congregant of mine who had a very bad relationship with his brother. Upon his brother’s untimely death, he went into a great depression for how he had left their relationship. It came to me when we were together one day for him to simply meditate on the love that he had held back from his brother and ask an imaginary angel to deliver him a message of repentance, love, and compassion. Not long after he said that his brother had come to him in a dream and they hugged and forgave each other, and his pain and suffering was relieved. His love for his brother was evident in his countenance he was smiling joyfully.
He was freed from the chain of causation through atonement! How chained are you? What will you do about it? Will you atone and be released from those thoughts and emotions? Or do you choose to live with the pain, anger, and animosity? The choice is yours—which will it be.
[1]Tanahashi, K. (2015) Zen Chants Thirty-Five Essential Texts with Commentary. Shambhala: Boston and London
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