In his chapter on “Training in Zen” Shibayama writes:
…they first start with an extremely intense religious quest; then comes hard, strong-willed search and discipline, which will be followed by spiritual crises, or a sense of the abyss; and finally, they experience the moment of awakening. These are the inner processes they generally go through (page 39).
I know if you are reading this that you too have gone through some or all of these steps. I too have done so and when I’ve had that moment of awakening I think that my life will have changed dramatically and only the good can come and I will be able to “walk on water.” Alas, when I tried I was soon over my head in it and had to swim to shore. This is not failure but the reality of being in a human experience.
To fail and then to get up again and go back to the reading and meditation and mindfulness strengthens my determination and quickens my compassion for others who are struggling and swimming against the tide in this physical world of challenges and joys.
Life is like a roller coaster and sometimes we are on the up-hill ride slowly moving and creeping to the top of the tracks and then all of sudden we feel the elation and before we know it we’re on the down hill portion of the roller coaster speeding faster and faster as the wind blows our hair and we can hear ourselves screaming.
Not to worry what you learned through these two experiences will help you grow in to the Buddha that you are. Shakyamuni Buddha lived a life of luxury that many could never experience and he left it to find the truth about life. During those times he had great ups and downs in the physical, psychological, and emotional challenges of being alive. But in his final awakening he discovered the middle way. Not grasping upon awakening or experiencing Samadhi but simply allowing yourself to relax and focus on your breath and the peace that you can hold in body, mind, and spirit. He realized that everything is one.
To be in the moment, to realize that we are and can experience being one with all the good that is in the universe is available to everyone. It gives us the clarity, drive, and ability to go out into the world and make a difference, to fulfil our Buddhist promise to live a life of peace, love, and compassion toward self and others.
The beginning of the universe is now, for all things are at this moment being created, and the end of the universe is now, for all things are at this moment passing away. (Watts, 1958, p. 52) ~ Alan Watts, Zen teacher
Just a thought to ponder on while you wile away the minutes and hours of your day on your spiritual quest.
The preface of this book is incredible as it reads like he wrote it just yesterday. Although this book was published in 1970 it holds so many wonderful truths about Zen and life I know you will be blessed by your time spent with it.
“embryo of sagehood” to grow and mature. I really like the term: embryo of sagehood. I find myself thinking about the word sage and wonder if there is anyone alive today that I could say was speaking and acting like a sage. Someone that we all can look up to, someone we desire to emulate, someone we might consider a living, breathing, sage.
transmission in secret from the fifth ancestor Yuquan Shenxiu. As the story is told the fifth ancestor was getting old and looking for a successor and so a challenge was given to all the students to write a poem to show their understanding of the dharma. One student wrote a poem which indicated that in order to reach enlightenment or awakening we had to continuously be polishing the mirror because it was always collecting dust.
