Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘attachment’ Category

Father Leo Booth in his book Meditations for Compulsive People writes these words about love: “So many of us love our pets not because they speak of unconditional love, but becauAnnie and Bubbles at doorse they live it (page 135)!”[1]  And yet you’ll see so many times on the news about the police shutting down a puppy mill or rescuing animals left out in the yard during a blizzard.  I have a wonderful book, Dogs Don’t Bite When a Growl Will Do, in it I read a story about a German shepherd who ran in front of a taxi cab driver and refused to move.  He got the driver to follow him to a poodle lying nearly frozen in the snow.  Oddly enough the cab driver had just recently given up looking for the dog for one of his customers.

The author continues by writing: “Those feelings—concerns, empathy, and distress—led the dog to perform an act of kindness and compassion (page 271).”  Yes, the dog!  He goes on to write, “The world is full of opportunities for all of us to demonstrate our compassion.  I believe that when we learn to match the compassion shown by our canine companions—or for that matter, unknown German shepherds and anonymous drivers who encounter stray dogs on the road—then the world will be a far better place to live (page272).”[2]

You cannot separate the word peace from unconditional love.  Peace and love are like vanilla ice cream and apple pie, or peanut butter and jelly they are inseparable and delicious and necessary for a world to be a peaceful and safe place to live. Pema Chodron in her book Awakening Loving Kindness writes, “It isn’t a sin that we are in the dark room.  It’s just an innocent situation, but how fortunate that someone shows us where the light switch is. It brightens up our life considerably (page 25).”[3]  Even if that someone is a most unusual team: a German shepherd and a cab driver.

You cannot have peace without love and you can’t have love without peace. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that this is true.  You don’t have to be anything but a human being who cares about others and puts them first and NOT twenty first.  As Father Booth so aptly describes in these words about Winston:

“There was a time when I abused him.
Gave him a dog’s Life!
In my drinking days when I was lost in self-pity;
Lonely,
Afraid,
Miserable,
Confused,
Angry,
I was hurting. So, I hurt others.
 
I abused my family.
Disappointed the congregation.
Angered the bishop.
And kicked the dog.
Yes, I kicked my dog—
When I really wanted to kick the bishop?
I can still see those large eyes staring at me.
Winston. Please forgive me.
And I know he did.
Winston watches,
Waits,
Comforts,
And loves in perpetual silence.
A companion and friend.
My dog.
It may seem odd, but I see God in Winston.
Something in that selfless love is divine.
In his silence I am healed
In his play, I am revitalized.
In his expression, I am accepted.
My dog.
His example taught me how to let go of resentments;
Enjoy serenity,
Live humility.
My dog became my mentor (page 136-7).”[4]

And peace arrived…when Annie and Bubbles entered my home.

[1] L. Booth (1995) Meditations for Compulsive People. SPC Limited: Long Beach, CA
[2] M Weinstein, L Barber. (2003) Dog’s Don’t Bite When a Growl Will Do. Perigee: NY, NY
[3] P. Chodron. (1996) Awakening Loving-Kindness. Shambhala: Boston & London
[4] L. Booth (1995) Meditations for Compulsive People. SPC Limited: Long Beach, CA

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

buddha-quote-thinkingToday as I was looking on my bookshelf for another great book on peace I came across The Kwan Um School of Zen’s Chanting and Temple Rules workbook.  Near the back of the book on page 52 there is a section entitled “On Conduct.”  After reading it I realized that if I just followed these rules each and every day I would definitely end up with a peaceful life and positive relationships with everyone I meet and especially with my family and friends. Below is what they have written.

  1. On conduct
  • Always act with others. Do not put yourself above others by acting differently. Arrogance is not permitted in the temple.
  • Money and sex are like a spiteful snake. Put your concern with them far away.
  • In the dharma room always walk behind those seated in meditation. At talks and ceremonies, keep the proper posture and dress.  Do not talk or laugh loudly in the dharma room.
  • If you have business outside the temple which causes you to miss ceremonies or meals, notify one of the temple officials before you leave.
  • Respect those older than you. Love those younger than you.  Keep your mind large and open.
  • If you meet sick people love and help them.
  • Be hospitable to guests. Make them welcome and attend to their needs.
  • When respected people visit the temple, bow to them and speak considerately to them.
  • Be courteous. Always let others go before you.
  • Help other people.
  • Do not play games with other people.
  • Do not gossip.
  • Do not use other people’s shoes and coats.
  • Do not cling to the scriptures.
  • Do not oversleep.
  • Do not be frivolous.
  • Let older and more respected people be seated before you.
  • Do not discuss petty temple matters with guests.
  • When visiting outside the temple, speak well of the temple to others.
  • Drinking to produce heedlessness or acting out of lust will only make bad karma and destroy your practice. You must be strong and think correctly. Then these desires cannot tempt you.
  • Do not delude yourself into thinking you are a great and free person. This is not true Buddhism.
  • Attend only to yourself. Do not judge the actions of others.
  • Do not make the bad karma of killing, stealing, or lust.

And finally, they end it with these powerful words:

Originally there is nothing.

But Buddha practiced unmoving under the
Bodhi tree for six years,
And for nine years Bodhidharma sat
Silently in Sorim.

If you can break the wall of your self,
You will become infinite in time and space.

 

Read Full Post »

buddha-quote-thinkingWe feed our mind with many things and what we feed it with can determine who we are, how we treat others, and what will manifest in our lives.  Words can be sweet like the taste of a ripe apple in Spring or sour like a pickle that has been soaked in brine for many weeks or months.  But it is always up to us which we will eat and which we will share with others.  And how we share it…

While I was going through my mail from the prison ministry the news of the bloody massacre of the Muslims in a mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand came on the news. As I listened I opened an eight-page letter from one of my pen pals “behind the fence.”

My pen pal had a lot of words rolling around in his head about the principles of Zen until he got confused.  I quickly came upon two poems that I thought he could use in his time of contemplation of Zen principles and how he uses them in his life.

Asukai  Masatsune (1170-1221)

I walked among stones
Through mountains of mountains,
Paying no mind
Until the flower-trail behind
Turned into drifting white clouds (page 117).[1]

Dogen Kigen (1200-1253)

Cast away all speech.
Our words may express it,
But cannot hold it.
The way of letters leaves no trace,
Yet the teaching is revealed (page 119)[2].

Had the killer paid no mind to his thoughts and the writings he was reading about hate for others of a different faith and had he cast away his hate filled words and left no trace of it and replaced it with peace and love for all human life those people would be alive today.

Be aware of your thoughts and words as being “food for the mind” they can give life or take it away. How many times has someone said to you “you’re going to eat those words someday?” Simply use your words of peace, love, and compassion for all and the complexity of life will winnow down to simply loving life and all humanity.  And you’ll never have to eat your words again because they will have turned into “drifting white clouds.”

[1] Hamill, S. and Seaton, J.P. The Poetry of Zen. Shambhala Boston & London 2007

[2] Ibid.

Read Full Post »

cookie with sunglassesJan Chozen Bays in her wonderful book Mindful Eating writes about something she calls “heart hunger.”   She wrote, “I became aware of heart hunger through the comments of participants in our mindful eating workshops. They talked longingly of foods they had eaten for family holidays, foods their mothers had made for them when they were ill, foods eaten with people they loved.  It was clear that the particular foods were not as important as the mood or emotion they evoked.  Hunger for these foods arose from the desire to be loved and cared for.  The memory of those special times infused these foods with warmth and happiness (page 60)”[1]

I know that this idea has worked both in a positive loving way sometimes and also in a negative fearful way in my life depending upon the person who made the food and/or the way it was cooked, what it tasted like, or what ingredients were involved in the dish.  I’m sure you have had similar relationships with food throughout your life as well.

So this may be a great time to stop and take a look at your relationship to food, why you have that relationship, and what can you do with the things you discover from this personal inquiry.  I only had very limited relationships with my two grandmothers.  My maternal grandmother lived in Kansas and we lived in New Jersey I only saw her twice once when we visited her in Kansas and once when she visited us in New Jersey.

When we went to Kansas, I finally found out why my mother was a such a bad cook.  The first night in Kansas my Grandmother told us she was going to make chicken for dinner.  I thought, great I like chicken.  So I decided I would watch to see how she made hers.  First thing she did was take out some flour and cover all the pieces.   Yeah, we’re going to have a wonderful fried chicken dinner!  NOT! She then proceeded to put it in a pot of water throw a few veggies in and turn on the stove…yikes.

My heart was still there for my Grandmother, but my hunger quickly disappeared!  I asked dad for some money to go to the Dairy Queen for supper!  That Dairy Queen hotdog was the best I’d ever eaten!

Our feelings are held deeply in the darkest part of our psyche.  Are yours helping or hindering you?  Don’t let your past affect your present moment—especially if they are based on fear, anger, or ignorance.  Decide where you want to focus your thoughts—in the now or on that silly pot of chicken so long ago?

Be here now! The choice, of course, is fully yours. Lunch time is here for me, where is my “heart hunger”—chicken or hotdogs…hmmm.

[1] Bays MD, Jan Chozen. Mindful Eating. Shambhala, Boulder, 2017

 

Read Full Post »

In the The Little Book of Zen the editors have taken this wonderful yet simpperson eating reading newspaperle koan to illustrate the importance of being mindful all day—even when you are eating. I might say “especially” when you are eating since this is a series on food.

Joshu’s koan goes like this:

A monk said to Joshu, “I have just entered this monastery.  Please teach me”
“Have you eaten your rice porridge?” asked Joshu. “Yes, I have, “replied the monk.
“Then you had better wash your bowl,” said Joshu. With this the monk gained enlightenment.[1]

It seems that the young monk was to start each day with a good bowl of porridge eaten quietly and then begin his meditation time.  So what was the motivation for Joshu to ask that question to the young man? The editors indicate that Joshu was saying since the monk was no longer eating, he should be paying attention to the now moment or his meditation or his breath, and not that sometime in the past he had eaten breakfast.

As silly as that may seem one of the great teachings in Buddhism is “being here now!”  Once your breakfast has been eaten, or dishes washed, or relationship has ended keep moving forward. You do this by staying in the now moment and experiencing what is in the here and NOW.

Alas, we spend so much time going backwards in our lives ruminating over the failures of the past or bragging about the successes we’ll have in the future.  When we do this we are not enjoying this current moment hearing the sounds around us, smelling the smells, tasting the food that is in our mouth, or feeling the touch of our friends’ hand in ours.

Stop for a minute and close your eyes: can you hear the voice of someone that you love, feel their laughter vibrating the air, or hear them praising the cook for the fabulous meal? Were you really there or were you simply thinking about the past or the future during your time with them?

We miss so much each and every day because we are not being present in this now moment. What have you missed today when eating with your friends and family?

Now go wash your bowl.

[1]Manuela Dunn Mascetti (editor). The Little Book of Zen. Fall River Press, New York, 2001

Read Full Post »

round white and blue ceramic bowl with cooked ball soup and brown wooden chopsticks

Photo by Buenosia Carol on Pexels.com

I really believe that first I eat with my nose!  Yes, with my nose.  Whether I am doing the cooking or someone else is doing the cooking when I get near the kitchen or the dinning room or the restaurant the first sense that inspires me is the things that I smell.  When I walked into my house as a kid if my dad was making a big pot of stuffed cabbage I could smell that great aroma all the way from the front door.  If mom was cooking a batch of cookies, we’d run down stairs to get the first hot cookie that came out of the oven.  These are wonderful memories triggered by smell. I’m sure you have hundreds of them in your life that you respond to without even thinking about it.

Jan Chozen Bays in her book How to Train A Wild Elephant writes a whole section #31 titled “Notice Smells.”  She says that “…smell can evoke emotion, desire, and aversion (page 130).[1] Chozen reminds us that not all smells bring happy feelings and thus some remind us of painful life experiences like a fire in your home, or the burnt smell of your first and last batch of cookies that you ever made.  For some it could be the smell of a perfume or aftershave of a person that was either a light in your life or darkness.  So when you encounter a particular smell the visual begins to appear right along with the smell.

Chozen goes on to write: “One reason incense is used in meditation halls is that over time a strong link is forged between the fragrance of incense and a quiet concentrated state of mind.  As you enter the scented hall, your mind automatically settles (page 132).”[2]

Foods are famous for having wonderful smells and bringing wonderful memories.  Let’s stop for a moment and take a deep breath.  Close your eyes and think of some wonderful smell that has made you happy, or giddy, or glad.  What comes to mind for me is our family dinners when growing up.

On Sunday we would have a special family outing—going to the Chinese restaurant for dinner.  Dad would choose one item from column A and two from column B and we all waited with great expectations for the food to begin to arrive. I just loved the smell of the wonton soup and the fried rice. But most of all I loved those almond fortune cookies that I used as an edible spoon to scoop up the delicious chocolate ice cream!  What a great ending to a great food adventure—I experienced a beautiful harmony of fantastic smells indeed! How about you….

 

[1] Bays MD, Jan Chozen. How to Train a Wild and Other Adventures in Mindfulness Elephant. Shambhala, Boston & London, 2011

[2] Ibid.

Read Full Post »

tea and typewriterWhen I was growing up my mother would never allow us to have coffee, not sure why, but she said not until we were in high school? Hmmmm

So we could have water, milk, juice, soda, and yes tea!  Hot tea or cold tea and Lipton tea, of course.  I learned a lot about tea, as I’ve said, from Aaron Fisher’s book The Way of Tea Reflections on a Life with Tea.  Thus this blog post…

Once I was allowed to drink coffee, I decided that I would try it.  Mom had an old metal coffee pot with a glass window in the top so you could see the coffee perking.  Not sure why that was there but it was fun watching the coffee going up and down in the pot.  Kept me out of trouble for a few minutes anyway!

The day finally came, and I got the coffee cup and the hot pot of coffee off the stove and poured some into the cup.  I saw mom put cream and sugar in her coffee so I figured that was how it was to be fixed before drinking it.  It was very hot and so I figured I’d better blow on it a little before taking my first sip and finally I jumped into the coffee with great expectations.  Yikes!  Was I shocked it was awful, it tasted like mud to me.  It was not light and flavorful like the tea or transparent enough to see to the bottom of the cup. It’s kind of like life our “great expectations” don’t always turn out as we had expected…

Thus I did not drink coffee until I was grown up…I mean really grown up!  I was working in the Emergency Room in the local hospital as a Unit Secretary.  My shift was 3-11 PM on weekends and holidays.  Thus the cafeteria closed at 7 pm and if I wanted a hot drink, I had to drink what was in the nurse’s lounge.  Yes, you guessed it!  A giant old coffee pot filled with that nasty dark concoction!

Such is life and how it affects our eating, drinking, and way of living.  Fisher writes, “The Chinese, always so fond of making lists—of virtues, of bests and worsts, and even of benefits—made a list of the ten virtues of tea and it became common knowledge:

  1. Tea is beneficial to health, as the “Qi” clears all blockages and cures ailments.
  2. Tea helps refresh one after a night of drinking alcohol.
  3. Tea, mixed with other things like nuts or even milk can provide nourishment.
  4. Tea can cool one off in the heat of summer.
  5. Tea helps one slough off all fatigue and drowsiness, promoting an awakened mindset.
  6. Tea purifies the spirit, removes anxiety and nervousness and brings ease and comfort, conducive to meditation.
  7. Tea aids in the digestion of food.
  8. Tea removes all toxins from the body, flushing out the blood and urinary system.
  9. Tea is conducive to longevity, promoting longer, healthier life.
  10. Tea invigorates the body and inspires the mind to creativity (page 54).”[1]

So for me I’m going to drink more TEA!  Can’t wait to see if the benefits of tea can make me healthier, live longer, be more creative and inspired by life!  How about you? Care to join me!?

 

[1] Fisher, Arron, The Way of Tea Reflections on a Life with Tea, Tuttle Publishing, North Clarendon, Vermont, 2010

[2] Picture is from Pixabay website

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »